a long december

in case the title sounds familiar, well i got it from a song by counting crows. and for those who both know me well and know the lyrics of the song...well you'll have an idea what i'm going thru this joyful time of the year.


constuction in front of market!market!

peace be with you all!

star city

last friday we arrived at the venue of the musicfest several hours early. had sometime to wander around and take pictures. this one is the display in front of the starcity fairgrounds. this is where i had my first rollercoaster ride years before!

respite

november. it's the time of the company's annual music fest. so during the middle of the month we got this project that needs to be shown during the event. it's good to be doing animation work again as opposed to doing animation for avatars ( i.e. animated icons ). but its kind of scary too, because you have to continuosly improve or at least maintain your standard in animation. and that's hard considering the caliber of animators i work with. that's why i sometimes hesitate to introduce myself as a 3d animator.ha,ha like they said salvation is free, but your salary, that you have to work for.

it's also a blessing that my sister came home for my exhibit. because with all these things going on, she insists that we accompany her on her 'outings'. that's the reason why last sunday i found myself on the way to villa escudero. i slept most of the time, regaining consciousness just before we get off the south expressway.


church, san pablo, laguna. early morning sunday. on the way to our destination.

the place is okay. it's just that i'm more partial to nature treks, swimming pools or the beach (last time i used my snorkels, i think i was watching the movie 'into the blue'. at home). that's why i spent most of the time before lunch swimming in the pool. the water is cold and since we were there before the crowd, i was the only one using it.


view of the river from the coconut pavillion


rafting pier. there are rafts available for the guests.

since it was sunday, there was a cultural show presentation. and though the sound system is below standard, the talent and enthusiasm of the performers more than make up for it. my dad enjoyed the show and even my sister was moved to comment that the performance was better than the one she'd seen in lincoln center.


dad watching the cultural show.
_________________________________________________________

on the jeep going to the office this morning, i saw this woman putting on her makeup. she's not just retouching it ( he,he got that word from my female friends ) she's putting on the whole caboodle. cheeks, lips, eyes, they all got her attention, even in the uneven ride of the jeep. i was thinking of waiting for her to finish just to see her transformation after all that layers of paint. ha,ha.

out of the cave

one thing i realized while working on my paintings for the exhibit is that i tend to shy away from company. oh, i still go to malls and all that but i don't think i would be able to hold a decent conversation. maybe it's because i like to look at the people passing by and wonder about where they've been from, where they're going and all that. or maybe it's the freedom of just deciding where to go without trying to consider what your companions would like to go to or do.

so now that the exhibit opening has passed, i feel like a kid venturing out on the streets again after days of beeing cooped inside the house. have you ever felt that way? remember those moments when you know the storm has passed but you still have no classes. the kids tentatively wandering out of the still wet streets, until after awhile there is this crowd of kids playing 'agawang base' or 'siato'( he,he at least that's what they do during my time ).

it's with this feeling that i found myself buying my new 'toy'. last friday on my way to a meeting, i passed by the megamall branch of columbia photo. they were having a bodega sale there and i saw the point and shoot digital camera that i've been saving up for, going for less than its regular price. i'll write about my impressions on shooting pics in digital later. but i'll end this post with a pic i've taken while trying to learn the ins and outs of my camera. saw this group of old people singing along to the accompaniment of the piano at alabang town center last sunday. unlike my karaoke-singing neighbors in quezon city, these old guys sing in tune. go lolo! go lola!

aftermath

well it seems that i survived the exhibit opening intact. arrived late. no lights at the gallery because of a downed high tension wire. left my eyeglasses inside the adventure. have to squint at every person who enters the place to see if they were my guests or part of the writers group. met a former teacher from fine arts - "you ought to know how to explain your works". learned a spiritual lesson in all that. but it took me sometime to see it. he,he i'm a stubborn old dog.


under grey skies, 2005

going bananas

bananas from the vacant lot in front of our house, quezon city

two more weeks before the exhibit. dont know how to deal with the intervening time. arrgh.

on a different track. october 20, 2005. thursday, last week. found myself in a situation i thought will never come true.

thank God for giving me inspiration.

break...

2350 frames of animation, still have not reached the half way mark...

anyway, i'm giving myself a break. feel the onset of a headache, hope the medicine i took will stave it off.

in my surfing the web i ran across this website of the band stellastarr*. they have some of their songs playing while you browse thru their site and one of the songs - 'lost in time'- is an instant favorite of mine. i also recommend the track 'sweet troubled soul'. reminds me of those freshman years sitting on the main library steps...


U.P. main library, sunday


the bad news is, their cd 'harmonies for the haunted' is not yet available here.

temporay solution

would you please give me a shout if anybody is having trouble accessing this image post? am trying out the bloggers' image uploading capability.

tired fingers

this is my 2nd day of making facial shapes for a 3d model. anyone who works in 3d animation would know that it is a time consuming job. got stiff fingers from grasping the mouse too tight. all those points to move and adjust...am grateful for the 'snap to points' button. yet still got stiff fingers. must be old age, he,he.

as for my image hosting problem, well i still haven't found a solution yet. i could change my service provider; there are still lots of companies offering freebies in the internet. but i'm lazy (all those pictures to resize and link to this blog). besides i know that, given some time, those companies would start charging for the server space again and i will be saddled with the same problem all over again.

as i used to scream while playing counterstrike: aaaarrghh!!

all about image

i started this blog so that i could post pictures and artworks. but my image hosting site is no longer offering free image hosting services and, even though i am willing to pay the subscription fee, it has to be paid thru paypal. and i found out over the weekend that there are no paypal service here in the philippines. somebody told me that one could receive money from paypal thru xoom ( another internet based money tranfer firm ) but i don't know if xoom accept philippine peso to pay to paypal accounts. complicated isn't it?

so that means for the time being, no pics to accompany my blog posts.

kindness continued

my parents and their friends used to go to tagaytay for 'picnics' ( now that is a word you seldom hear nowadays. 'outing', 'gimik' seems to be more commonly used ). they were still in the dating stage then. in our family photo album, one would encounter sepia toned pictures simply captioned 'picnic grove, tagaytay'. but they won't recognize the present picnic grove today. the covered tables ( for rent! ), the nature walk, the numerous souvenir shops and ( of all things ) the videoke booths. talk about communing with nature with a badly rendered gun's and roses' knocking on heaven's door for background music.


again taal lake seen from our lunch table at leslie's



sunset, picnic grove, tagaytay. knock-knock-knocking on hibenns dooooar. ay-ay-aaiiaaayyy!


the gang by the bridge

we ended the day tired ( and for my part - a bit low on funds, he,he ). but the trip gave us all the break we needed from work. thank GOD, and my fellow adventurers.

kindness part 1

well it seems that God heard my wish to go somewhere and slack off...by giving us the chance to go to tagaytay. it was raining most of the morning, but on our way to tagaytay we came to a part where the road is bone dry and the weather is clear though cloudy.


view of taal volcano from leslie's restaurant

the first time i went to tagaytay was way back in 1993. and due to budget constraints my friend just parked on the roadside overlooking taal lake. if memory serves me right, it was somewhere near the radar station.


'pastor' carlo laying hands on the view


fellow adventurers

custom job

notice the changes? with the help of a friend, i was able to change the text title of my blog into an image file. and if you click on the links, it will now open in a new window. nothing major mind you, but i had fun learning something new in html.

aarrrgh

last night i arranged the paintings i've done along the walls of our apartment. in my desire to finish the whole set, i haven't seen all of it together until last night. it's not all that bad, but i decided to do some changes in tonal value to some of the 'finished' paintings. am also thinking of totally redoing one of it. then again, maybe i'll just let it go as it is. as much as possible, i try to think thru my paintings before hand - the layout, the colors, and such. but i admit that all of these changes during the act of painting. and as much as i enjoy losing myself on the process of coaxing the colors along the canvas, i also need to step back after awhile and ask myself if i am happy with the result.

some weeks ago, a friend ask me if we should pray for the success of my exhibit. i told him sure, please pray for the exhibit. but even up to now ( two months before the event ) i still don't know what it means for an exhibit to be called a 'success'. if 'success' means having all my paintings sold, well, i would rather keep them. hmmm...i guess to enjoy the act of painting and being happy with the result is success enough for me. ha,ha, am not going zen or anything about it. i admit that i also enjoy gathering my friends in one place and showing them my works.

sounds like am rambling on this blog entry. maybe i need a break from the office, spend my time sitting on some coffee shop or park bench and dream...zzzz.


greenbelt park.

imagine

nope, am not speaking about the song by john lennon. 'imagine' just happens to be one of the names we call our former company - imagineasia inc. saw this picture while i was sorting thru my picture cds yesteday. it was taken at the batangas sea port on our way to puerto galera during our company outing a couple of years ago.

sometime sunshine

don't know about your place, but there's been some respite from the rains in quezon city over the weekend. last sunday afternoon, i overheard the neighborhood kids talking about a rainbow in the sky. didn't get to see it when i got outside, but the number of kids playing outside, even in the still wet streets, is a testament that they've been cooped up for so long. a bit of sunshine, no school next day ( national heroes day ) and a friend or two to play with - a perfect day for a kid.

well, like i said i didn't get to catch a view of the rainbow. despite my rush to finish my chore, it was gone when i went outside. guess that seems to be the story of my life. i've always been chasing 'rainbows'. my sister once told me to learn how to temper my dreams with reality. and i guess i've learned to do that over the years. BUT there are still dreams that i still strive for, which some people may consider need a miracle ( or a series of miracles ), to achieve or come true. it's the occasional ray of sunlight, a glimpse of the rare rainbow that gives me hope from whatever path my life takes me.

like they said, God is good to fools and little children.

amazing grace

a month or so ago, i happen to pass by megamall and found my friend carol and her band ( pinikpikan ) performing at the lobby. it's been years since i last saw her. carol bello is a small woman, but once she gets behind the microphone and sing, her voice exudes so much energy and power that you'll only notice her height once she steps off stage.




there was a time when we had bible study at our home. we were sitting just inside our gate and during the closing prayer, a friend started playing the intro of 'amazing grace' on the guitar. carol started singing the melody and the rest of my friends began humming the tune in the background. we got caught up so much on the hymn that when we opened our eyes at the end of the song, we were surprised to find a passerby standing on our gate and clapping his hands. it came about that he was on his way to one of the houses in our neighborhood when he heard carol singing and was compelled to seek where it was coming from. from then on, we have a nickname for carol - amazing grace.

so in case you ever meet her in person, and there is a guitarist near at hand, ask her to sing 'amazing grace' for you. the lyrics, the clean acoustic sound of the guitar strings and the power of carol's voice that evoke equal parts longing and passion will surely blow you away.

formula tech

i used to assemble plastic model cars by tamiya. there was a time when i spend hard earned money buying car magazines for reference in detailling my models. i can't say that i got good on making models. but i sure wish i found this site. back when i was still into plastic models.

hmmm...then again, i think i still have an unopened box or two of formula1 model kit at home. he,he.

hello...i'm austin powers

i was at the counter at mcdonald's this morning, waiting for the staff to fill my orders. looked around and saw a familiar face on the line next to mine. smiled at her thinking that i seldom see people from our music dept. outside the office. she smiled back and a beat later i realized...she's a stranger! to cover my embarrassment, i turned back to the counter guy and ordered a lemonade in addition to my order of coffee ( two sugars no creamer ) and sausage mcmuffin. walked away with as much panache as i could muster. hey i'm cool, it was not that bad...at least she smiled...

found myself a table, arranged my breakfast before me. took the cover off my coffee and lemonade. took a sip of my lemonade, the coffee still hot. the girl and her companions arrived and sat on the table diagonally across mine, the girl facing my way. she looked my way, and trying to be cool i held her gaze, opened the packets of sugar with a flourish and promptly dumped the contents...on my lemonade!

rainy days

like?

do you like role playing games? do you like reading comics? check out this site. or click the 'order of the stick' on my 'surf sites'.

college

Palma Hall during UPCAT, afternoon of august 7, 2005.
several hours before, the traffic on this road could be compared to that of edsa.

last sunday, i drove my nephew to UP diliman to take his UPCAT ( U.P. college admission test ). due to my work in alabang, i seldom have the chance to jog there anymore. a fact that my belly fat could attest to. one of the things that strike me during that day is the proliferation of vendors lining the academic oval. the occassion ( at least outside the test rooms ) seems more like a fiesta or fair. i think i even saw a globe or smart telecom booth there, which made me wonder if they allow celphones inside the test rooms. that is something we don't have to consider during the time i took my UPCAT...which was a looong time ago. what stuck to my mind all these years is the fact that my test room was in the second floor of UP integrated school and that the english essay test was taken from an old issue of readers' digest ( karate: weapon of the empty hand...naks ) that i read the day before by chance. aside from that, i don't recollect anything else from that day.


the kiosks in front of the B.A. college and Vinzons hall

3 months to crunch time

ahhh, i somehow managed to give myself sometime to post a blog after several weeks of silence. it's not that i am no longer busy, in fact if anything, i think i just got more things to do now. we have this 3d modelling exercises in the office and my scheduled one man show is getting nearer.

but i need to take stock of my progress ( or lack of it ) or i might have a breakdown while running in place. lately i've been doing color research for my paintings. i have this tendency to use the same set of colors in a series of paintings that even i myself get bored with it. i've also been making studies for the paintings. i am not lacking in subject matter. but i do need to make it diverse enough to be interesting while at the same time conveying a common underlying thought. ha,ha, am i making sense here? that previous sentence reminds of those exhibit notes that takes three or four paragraphs to clearly explain nothing.

in other news...finally found the courage(?) to join a discipleship group. we usually meet during fridays. i don't know what is in store for me on that front but hey, am glad that i've joined.

in between the pixels

i've got an eclectic taste in reading materials. many the times i've gone to work with bleary eyes because i spent the whole night reading some books. a lot of the concept and ideas for my art comes from the things i read. and as someone who respect the written word, i often ask myself what i have do to be able to write as well as the people whose works i admire. what pain or sacrifice, what kind of life do i have to live to help me choose words and combine them to form sentences and paragraphs that will not make the reader roll their eyes in disgust.

as a fine arts student ( waaaay back when ), i have my share of free time spent reading the graffiti in the college walls. drawings and prose, with anger, angst, and love as the usual topic, could be found on those walls. evidence that the font of creativity - as my lit teacher once said - are often based on the pursuit of/musings about love, life, sex and death.

and if you're wondering what brought about this rumination, it is because, in my search for reading material in the internet, i came along this site countingyellowcars.com. mind you, the content is far better than the graffiti in our college walls. it just also happen that the webmaster is also a ( recent ) graduate of UPCFA. i asked and got her permission to link her site ( see side bar ).


tree, madrigal park saw this scene as i walk tired and hungry from boxing gym.

sci+fi

pictures from the sci-fi convention, glorietta:


glorietta activity center, testing my new ( or should i say used? ) 18mm lens.


giving darth vader a hand. the marshalls allowed me to stay near the stage. perhaps they thought i'm part of the official photo coverage. he,he.


storm trooper interview:

interviewer: how do you feel right now? being a part of this convention?

storm trooper: well...i feel hot.

interviewer: oh so your costume is not well ventilated...

storm trooper: no, i mean, i feel hot because you're standing close to me and i could smell your perfume thru my visor.

he,he.
they didn't really say that. but i guess that is what i would have felt if i was the storm trooper, he,he.




and lastly:

yoda: old i feel. old i look. because of jedis like this klutz.

quiapo

went to quiapo monday morning to buy the second hand lens that i saw in one of its camerashops the other week. i got hooked by its focal length ( 18mm!! wide angle! wow! ) and price. the owner was kind enough to give me a discount ( hey, the lens needs to be cleaned, and i still need to buy a skylight filter for it - a large 86mm ). despite the heat, i enjoyed walking the length of r. hidalgo street looking at the old and new stuff that the camera shops have to offer. some good cameras ( F2 nikons-those rugged cameras that documented the vietnam war ) are going for cheap. just hope nobody in those shops read this blog or they might jack up the price. for those people who still shoot on film, this place is a gold mine. but since i'm on a limited budget, i have to content myself by just looking.

r. hidalgo with its food ( my dad says the pancit is good )and vegetables stalls, was a welcome change from the somewhat sterile(?) environment of the office. there was a time when the stalls only occupy one side of the street. now you have to weave thru the stalls to find the doors of the shops (a parked honda city was virtually covered with clothes). this will expose you to the back of those said stalls - the vendors eating their packed lunch, the small kids sleeping on wooden planks, some old men playing chess and - cards. i would have liked to catch them on film but i guess i lack the time to establish rapport so the only image i got is this one:

rice my lord vader

a few more days and the last installment of the star wars movies will be showing on theaters. for all star wars fan out there, who likes to delve into the mind of its characters, check out The Darth Side:Memoirs of a Monster. you may find it a good read in anticipation of the show date.

caged

one thing about working in a computer environment is that it makes me feel isolated from nature. our office is kept at a certain temperature and the lights are turned on or off depending on its effect on the glare of our monitor. the heat of the noon day sun often surprise me when we go out for lunch, and i have to remind myself that it's already mid-summer.

patience

after sitting alone for sometime...

pantry sink

reminds me of the pale fountain's song 'kitchen sink drama'.

this is the second floor office pantry. no microwave, no fridge. 30+ employees, with the 3d dept. usually staying overnight. if you want hot ( or warm ) food, you have to go out of the building.

local guggenheim

this is the philippine version of the guggenheim museum. care to guess where and what it is?

old soldiers never die...

i saw this article while reading daily inquirer online today. maybe it is the reason why my dad's pension checks are often weeks, or even months, delayed. i commend PCIJ in bringing this issue to the public.

my dad is a retired army serviceman. back in high school, i often accompany him during his monthly trip to camp aguinaldo to get his pension check. i've seen the long line of retired soldiers, some of them already in wheelchairs, waiting for their name to be called thru a loudspeaker, whose dubious quality distorts the sound coming out of it, making it incomprehensible even to my (then) young ears. it is thru my dad's gift of tongue ( he could and often pass as a native of several provinces ) and voluble nature that i often have a glimpse of their struggles in life, whether its financial woes - the medical bills, the jobless sons or daughters whose family they have to support, or emotional - the pain of losing a wife or a husband, the ever dwindling group of friends and acquaintances. sprinkled here and there are the news of their simple joys - who went abroad, whose son or daughter was able to graduate in college, who was able to buy their own house and lot. and i've seen their stories etched in the lines of their faces, the gap-toothed smiles, the clouded eyes.

my dad is not a war veteran, and most of his friends may not have ever fired their rifles in war. but i hope that the case between the war veterans and veterans bank will not go the way of the coconut farmers and the coconut levy fund. i hope that this will not just fade away from the collective ire of the people.

holy week, 2005

"everday is like sunday,
everyday is silent and grey"
-morrisey, everyday is like sunday

wednesday night, alabang

one good thing with being alone is that i could work without distraction. no tv, no radio or cd. all the novels and magazines i bought lying on the apartment floor, read and done with. i was able to finish a painting in time to take it home during the long weekend.

an acquaintance once asked me before if the reason why i don't have a girlfriend is because i look at it as a 'distraction'. and i could only laugh and say 'no'. i could not think of anything better than improving your relationships, whether with your parents, family, friends or God. but then how can i explain this in words without sounding like a hypocritical sage? even writing about it in this blog gives me the urge to roll up my eyes. leave me to my periods of solitude. regardless if anyone notice the difference, it makes me a better person.


good friday

ever heard the song 'everyday is like sunday'? well that song comes to mind whenever i spend maundy thursday and good friday at home. i could swear that, during those days, i ( and the whole household ) move in bullet time ( the slow motion effects in matrix - for the rest of the people who doesnt know that they actually named that effect ) but i admit all those inactivity allowed me to think about a lot of things. not least of them is my decision to take steps in having my own solo exhibit...

toilets

public toilets, bus stop, north ave. cor. edsa

at first glance, i thought the one in the middle is for the 'third sex'. it was only on closer look that i was able to read the sign at the top of the door.

paranoia

one thing i hate about the 'war on terror' that the government is bandying about is that it has turned the country into a virtual police state without the benefit of a formal declaration of martial law. conrado de quiros discussed this mindset on his column there's the rub on the march 8, 2005 issue of the philippine daily inquirer. this is the kind of paranoia that makes journalism one of the most hazardous jobs in this country.

i myself experienced this paranoia firsthand while taking pictures inside the mrt:

stranger: ( looking at the camera on my neck ) boy(duh), are you thinking of taking some pictures here?

jb: yes, si...

stranger: well you can't do that. it's against the law.

jb: but am not taking pictures of the mrt by itself. my focus is also on the view outside the window.

stranger: no, sir. sorry, sir. am a security officer employed here in mrt. ( bringing out an official looking id from his bag. he was wearing casual clothes. he turned to his companion and murmured. i caught the word 'sabotage' during the exchange. )

jb: but, sir. this is a camera. not a bomb.

stranger: no, sir. it's the law.

jb: they actually turned THAT into a LAW? ( and since it's already near my stop and i don't have time to discuss the intricacies of the first amendment and the philippine constitution, i let it go at that.)

( it's cowardly of me to let it go like that. but it was a sunday and i was eager to go home, he,he. )

one only has to look at these images to see how the camera could show us what the 'war on terror' really meant.

fifteen years ago

11 o'clock PM, greenbelt park grounds, 3 college friends

...i wonder what job we will get once we graduate?...why not start our own design studio?
...hey, are you serious with that band?...nope, just want to jam once in a while...
...remember ( name of girl )? what ever happened to her, bok? someday we will be able to afford hanging out at tia maria's...hey howbout eating out once a month at that pizza place in west avenue?...

renovated greenbelt park

closed gate

taken during one of those nights when i got home late.

shibumi

looking at my small room, i realised how little i need, in terms of material things, to live. yep, i got the smallest of the four rooms available ( by choice ) and it is less well appointed than the one i was used to. i think i'm in the process of learning that my happiness isn't connected to the ratio of the things i have or don't have. don't get me wrong here, am living above poverty level in this country and i haven't gone to the extent of giving my possesions away. but i could still remember the things i thought i could not live without as a kid. toys,tv...guess i have to thank my parents for teaching us kids to make do with the things we have...and working hard ( and honorably ) for the things we want.


neon, feb 28, 2005 - digital camera courtesy of louie

apart-ment

last sunday night, i moved to my ( i share it with 3 other co-workers, so i guess i should call it 'our' apartment. but that somewhat reminds me of a conjugal property, so i'll stick with 'my' ) apartment. work on the insect screen was still ongoing so i opted to stay for the time being on one of the room upstairs. it was tiring cleaning up the room, in addition to the fact that i spent the afternoon driving from our home in quezon city to alabang, and back - moving stuff. and once i got to bed, it was heavenly - for the mosquitos. i think they have this messaging network to tell them where fresh blood could be had. so i spent the night covered in blanket ( something i seldom do ). morning came and i woke up to the sound of...birds? yep, birds. a welcome difference to the sound of tricycle motors that often wake me up back in quezon city. but the restless night took its toll and i spent the whole day fighting off drowsiness.

last night, monday. the screen finally got installed. spent sometime, cleaning my own room and moving stuff from upstairs. i still need an extra plastic box, and i should really need to install window blinds...zzzzz


living room curtains, morning, quezon city

my first blog of the year

work sure do get in the way of blogging. don't get me wrong, am thankful that i have a regular work. but i'm like those old computers - not good at multi-tasking. so that's why it's been awhile since i posted anything here.

ever since as a kid, i've looked at going to the beach as something you enjoy with family or friends. our parents used to take us for a swim in manila bay ( it was still clean at that time ) near baclaran every summer. going to the province is not complete without a day or two spent swimming or just eating ( he,he) on the sea shore.

but the landslides in quezon ( a province we have to pass by on our way to bicol )and the tsunami that struck the nations around the indian ocean last december 26, 2004 brings home the fact that nature could also be a destructive force. something we, who earns a living inside an office room, often forget.

that's why i also look on those days i didn't post a blog as a time of silence for the souls of the victims of these tragedies...and those who survived them.


saturday afternoon, bohol