holy week, 2005

"everday is like sunday,
everyday is silent and grey"
-morrisey, everyday is like sunday

wednesday night, alabang

one good thing with being alone is that i could work without distraction. no tv, no radio or cd. all the novels and magazines i bought lying on the apartment floor, read and done with. i was able to finish a painting in time to take it home during the long weekend.

an acquaintance once asked me before if the reason why i don't have a girlfriend is because i look at it as a 'distraction'. and i could only laugh and say 'no'. i could not think of anything better than improving your relationships, whether with your parents, family, friends or God. but then how can i explain this in words without sounding like a hypocritical sage? even writing about it in this blog gives me the urge to roll up my eyes. leave me to my periods of solitude. regardless if anyone notice the difference, it makes me a better person.


good friday

ever heard the song 'everyday is like sunday'? well that song comes to mind whenever i spend maundy thursday and good friday at home. i could swear that, during those days, i ( and the whole household ) move in bullet time ( the slow motion effects in matrix - for the rest of the people who doesnt know that they actually named that effect ) but i admit all those inactivity allowed me to think about a lot of things. not least of them is my decision to take steps in having my own solo exhibit...

toilets

public toilets, bus stop, north ave. cor. edsa

at first glance, i thought the one in the middle is for the 'third sex'. it was only on closer look that i was able to read the sign at the top of the door.

paranoia

one thing i hate about the 'war on terror' that the government is bandying about is that it has turned the country into a virtual police state without the benefit of a formal declaration of martial law. conrado de quiros discussed this mindset on his column there's the rub on the march 8, 2005 issue of the philippine daily inquirer. this is the kind of paranoia that makes journalism one of the most hazardous jobs in this country.

i myself experienced this paranoia firsthand while taking pictures inside the mrt:

stranger: ( looking at the camera on my neck ) boy(duh), are you thinking of taking some pictures here?

jb: yes, si...

stranger: well you can't do that. it's against the law.

jb: but am not taking pictures of the mrt by itself. my focus is also on the view outside the window.

stranger: no, sir. sorry, sir. am a security officer employed here in mrt. ( bringing out an official looking id from his bag. he was wearing casual clothes. he turned to his companion and murmured. i caught the word 'sabotage' during the exchange. )

jb: but, sir. this is a camera. not a bomb.

stranger: no, sir. it's the law.

jb: they actually turned THAT into a LAW? ( and since it's already near my stop and i don't have time to discuss the intricacies of the first amendment and the philippine constitution, i let it go at that.)

( it's cowardly of me to let it go like that. but it was a sunday and i was eager to go home, he,he. )

one only has to look at these images to see how the camera could show us what the 'war on terror' really meant.

fifteen years ago

11 o'clock PM, greenbelt park grounds, 3 college friends

...i wonder what job we will get once we graduate?...why not start our own design studio?
...hey, are you serious with that band?...nope, just want to jam once in a while...
...remember ( name of girl )? what ever happened to her, bok? someday we will be able to afford hanging out at tia maria's...hey howbout eating out once a month at that pizza place in west avenue?...

renovated greenbelt park

closed gate

taken during one of those nights when i got home late.

shibumi

looking at my small room, i realised how little i need, in terms of material things, to live. yep, i got the smallest of the four rooms available ( by choice ) and it is less well appointed than the one i was used to. i think i'm in the process of learning that my happiness isn't connected to the ratio of the things i have or don't have. don't get me wrong here, am living above poverty level in this country and i haven't gone to the extent of giving my possesions away. but i could still remember the things i thought i could not live without as a kid. toys,tv...guess i have to thank my parents for teaching us kids to make do with the things we have...and working hard ( and honorably ) for the things we want.


neon, feb 28, 2005 - digital camera courtesy of louie